The Point System
The point system:
At an unconscious level, both genders run their own little points system; but what if the points system of a woman, is completely different to that of the male? How on earth are you meant to win and enjoy the game if you don’t know each other’s rules?
Men love feeling like they can make their partner happy and the woman might not realise he’s making the effort. Dr John Grey (Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) says “Many men think they can’t seem to keep their partners happy”. When couples feel like they can’t consistently stay happy, they become insecure about the relationship and begin questioning it?
Here is the rule book:
Men feel like they need to do something big to impress his woman, e.g. take her away on a holiday or a fancy dinner date and that’ll get her glowing. He also thinks he’s off the hook for the next couple of weeks and can focus back on work because he’s just scored some big points. But to his confusion, she starts to feel neglected not long after and starts saying something like “gee we were just getting so close and getting to a better level.”
WHY didn’t it work?? Because women have a different point system, she gives 1 point for each act of love; so no matter how big or small, you still only get 1 point. You could buy her a dozen red roses and she would say “oh how wonderful” or you could buy her one red rose and she would say “oh how wonderful” it’s the act of love that she loves and is wanting and looking for.
Guys, here is a simple example for you: instead of buying her a dozen roses, surprise her by giving her 1 rose each day for 12 days instead…. that would be equivalent to 12 points! It’s the continual little things that will keep your relationship happy.
To add, it doesn’t have to be things that cost lots of money either- e.g. the first thing I’m going to do today is find my wife and give her a big 10sec kiss; as the first thing most guys find is the TV remote.
It’s win/win, give her a kiss and she’s happy for you to watch TV.
Below is a “Keeping the Flame Alive Planner” for this month. If you don’t like one of the tips make your own up, it’s easy and some low cost ideas:
Jan 2010
Men & Woman:
Friday 1st
Go for a nice romantic walk hand in hand around the block for half an hour. Fresh air and new scenery fires off different receptors of the brain.
Sat 2nd
Date Night
Men & Woman:
Go ice skating together and use it as an excuse to hold hands and have a laugh.
Sunday 3rd
Men & Woman:
Take an early evening bubble bath together and relax with some wine and soft music. You’ll be refreshed and ready to face the week ahead!
Monday 4th
Woman: Show him how special he is by trusting him and his actions today. If you’re unsure about his intentions, don’t assume. Ask instead.
Tues 5th
Men: Give her a back rub, she’ll love that she didn’t have to ask!
Wed 6th
Woman: Send us your romantic idea of the day.
Thurs 7th
Men: Pick up take-out food and flowers on your way home tonight.
Fri 8th
Womans: Praise him today for something he’s done around the house.
Sat 9th
Date Night
Men & Woman:Go out and listen or dance to live music tonight.
Sunday 10th
Men & Woman: See a double feature - each of you choose a movie to rent, then pop popcorn and sip cream soda floats or your favourite beverage while you snuggle on the couch together.
Mon 11th
Mens: Send your honey an e-card today telling her how much you care about her.
Tues 12th
Woman: Give him the remote tonight and encourage him to stay up as long as he likes.
Wed 13th
Men: Show her you care by giving her 4 hugs today.
Thurs 14th
Woman: Let your guy know you’re in the mood. Put on something sexy under a robe and sprinkle the bed with green M&M’s. Have fun eating them, too.
Fri 15th
Mens: When your partner’s feeling overwhelmed, draw a relaxing bath for her with candles and wine. Present her personalized coupons for massage, running errands etc… and expect nothing in return!!
Sat 16th
Date Night
Men & Woman: Have a summer evening picnic- that’s private and you can reconnect with nature too.
Sunday 17th
Men & Woman: Make a dinner together - make sure it’s one that you both like. While it cooks, have a glass of wine and enjoy some music.
Mon 18th
women: Remember that men rarely say “I’m sorry,” because on Mars it means you’ve done something wrong.
Tues 19th
Men: Make this a week of improving communication. Let your partner be the expert on herself. Learn about her as if it were for the very first time.
Wed 20th
Women: Share your feelings today, and be direct. Suppressing negative feelings buries positive feelings, too, and love slowly dies.
Thur 21th
Men: When she talks… don’t interrupt- let her finish!
Fri 22th
Women: If he pulls away after being close, that’s the rubber band acting. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. Trust that he’s doing the very best for you both!
Sat 23rd
Date Night
Men & Woman:Get dress in separate rooms to go out for the evening. Men Greet your partner at the front door like you’re picking her up for a date- why not add a passionate kiss and a rose or bottle of wine!
Sunday 24th
Men & Woman:Get out a map or your computer and plan a getaway weekend.
Monday 25th
Men: Do her least favourite chore today - if you don’t know what that is, ask!
Tues 26th
Women: Remember- he needs trust, acceptance, and appreciation. When your partner gets what he needs, he will be eager to fulfill your needs.
Wed 27th
Men:Look her in the eyes when you talk to her.
Thurs 28th
Woman: When you argue, remember that men want space while women want understanding.
Fri 29th
Men: Kiss each other for longer than 1 minute at least 3 times today.
Sat 30th
Date Night
Men & Woman: Try something out of the ordinary tonight. Visit a comedy club or see a local theatre production.
Sun 31st
Men & Women: Go to the grocery store together and buy ingredients for tonight’s meal. Enjoy an evening of cooking and eating together
Karen says:
This blog is EXCELLENT! So much so, I forwarded it to my boyfriend. We’re in the early weeks of our relationship but last night we had a chat about the fact he came in the door and rushed to the computer to put the football on. I was trying to kiss him and chat about our days and he was trying to push me away. I found out later it was his team playing and a really important match so that was fair enough but your’e right, if he’d given me a huge hug, passionate kiss and then explained what was on I probably would have left him in peace instead of kept annoying him! Your insight is fab!
January 14th, 2010 at 7:31 pm